5 Tips for Hosting a Mother’s Blessing

Written by Kira Gresoski, Doula

As a doula, I see firsthand how our modern culture is far more comfortable with cute babies than they are with the realities of birth and motherhood. It’s normal to host a baby shower and give an expectant mom adorable onesies, gifts for the baby, and decorations for the nursery. But it’s not as commonplace to set aside dedicated time to focus on the mother, honoring the profound rite of passage she is experiencing. Thankfully, there seems to be a shift as more and more communities are celebrating pregnancy with a Mother’s Blessing, also known as a blessingway in the Navajo tradition. No matter what you call it, this gathering is a wonderful opportunity for your friends, families, and community to do what doulas do best: hold the mother, so she can hold the baby.

The beauty of a Mother's Blessing is that it can be fully customized to honor the mother's unique needs, beliefs, and preferences. Whether you're planning it yourself or enlisting a trusted friend to organize it, the following tips will help you create something truly meaningful.

TIP #1: NAME AND HONOR THE EXPERIENCE OF MATRESCENCE

Matrescence is the physical, emotional, hormonal, and social transition of becoming a mother. It represents the greatest hormonal change an adult can ever experience, and that doesn’t even cover how much having a child changes your life on a daily level! If adolescence represents a shift from dependence to independence, then matrescence represents a shift from independence to taking care of your dependents.¹

If you’re celebrating a first-time mother, take a moment to gather in a circle and share stories and affirmations of the woman she was before this significant transition. Bring old photos, treasured memories, and uplifting words about the things she has done and the lives she has touched before becoming a mother. Hold space for her to share about her hopes, dreams, anxieties, fears, and the support she needs as she steps into this new role.

If the pregnant mama already has previous children, you can honor her by reminding everyone that when the baby is born, so is the new mother. Although she’s certainly gained lots of experience and wisdom from motherhood already, each child represents a new chapter in her life. Each child will teach her new things about motherhood and herself. Open up the conversation to allow her to reflect on what this new chapter means to her, whether it’s her second child or her sixth.

TIP #2: NOURISH THE MOTHER WITH DELICIOUS FOOD AND SUPPORTIVE HERBS

This celebration is not only about the mother but also about all the women in her life, whose support she will need in this new season. Set the tone for this village of support by asking everyone to bring a nourishing dish to be shared.

To make the party hands-on and interactive, the host could also provide several recipes for healing postpartum meals and have the guests bring the ingredients. Everyone can pitch in together to make the meals together, enjoying it together and then saving the leftovers in the new family’s freezer!

TIP #3: BLESS THE MOTHER IN A WAY THAT FEELS ALIGNED

Hence the name “Mother Blessing,” this celebration lends itself to a ritual or ceremony that will feel resonant for the people attending. The possibilities are endless and easily adaptable to the mother’s beliefs and preferences.

Flower crown: Adorn the mother in a flower crown to celebrate her beauty and mark her transition into a new stage of life.
Prayer circle: Have everyone hold hands and take turns sharing a prayer for mom, baby, and the new family.
Herbal foot soak: Add herbs and salt to a bowl and have everyone take turns massaging the elements together, speaking their hopes and wishes for the mom during their turn. At the end, soak the mom’s feet in a foot bath and add the herbal blend to bring peace and relaxation. Wash her feet as a symbol of service and reverence for her miraculous ability to nurture new life.

TIP #4: SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM

This celebration is a beautiful chance for a whole community to share and learn important skills for tending to a family in pregnancy and postpartum. Replace the cute baby shower games with hands-on activities that educate and empower everyone, like practicing hip squeezing for birth or belly binding for postpartum.

Hip squeezes are a form of counterpressure that can alleviate discomfort during labor and make space for babies to descend through the birth canal. If your doula is attending the Mother’s Blessing, she could lead the group in the proper techniques for hip squeezes, or more experienced mamas can demonstrate the positions and counterpressure that helped move birth along. This makes for a fun and memorable experience, with the added bonus of helping the mom-to-be prepare for labor.

Belly binding is a postpartum practice that originated in Asia, Europe, and Latin America. The technique involves wrapping the belly in fabric or a binder after childbirth, helping to support the abdominal muscles to recover after labor. There are many physical and emotional benefits, with women reporting that they feel supported and contained by the practice, improving posture and pelvic-spinal alignment.

Take some snapshots of everyone practicing these skills together, and you’ll have priceless memories from the day!

TIP #5: GIVE GIFTS FOR THE MOTHER AS WELL AS THE BABY

I get it: you see that onesie, you want it for your friend’s baby, you buy it! There’s something incredibly precious about buying little gifts for the little one about to join your world. Mothers also deserve to be showered in love as they navigate body changes, hormonal surges, and the life-changing moment of meeting their baby. You could fill a basket with her favorite snacks, a new book or water bottle she can count on when breastfeeding, and Motherlove items like our Nipple Cream or Sitz Bath Spray. She’ll feel so loved and celebrated! And when a mom is thriving, the baby will thrive too.

I hope that these ideas inspired you to plan a celebration that will honor the mother-to-be in your life and prepare her for this meaningful and transformative rite of passage!